Tylenol Cold Medicine.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee for the way you make my head
stop feeling like it's about to explode,
filling the surrounding area with the mucus
that was constantly pouring from my nose.

I love thee for the amusing way you advertise
that you can be a cough expectorant and suppressant
at the same time.

I love thee for your timely appearance
after two days of extreme misery.
Your foe, Sudafed, merely mocked me
and did nothing to prevent
the deep coughing and constant running
of my nose. The Kleenex company
must be in league with them.

I love thee for fighting off my fever
and my aches and pains, and at the same time
turning off the faucet that I couldn't reach.
While I know I am still ill, I can now function
and no longer have to force myself to breathe.

And while you have earned my loyalty
for all future (curse them!) colds, I must decry
your small box with only 12 doses
and your ability to stop up my ears so badly
that I can't help but think I've shifted altitude.

Thank you for the rest, Dear Tylenol Cold. You
came to my rescue when I needed you most. I shall
sleep well tonight.